History

Grand Conventional of the Financials. CH Smyth (2020-21) World Heritage Museum.

Who Built SquareMileHenge?


The question of who built SquareMileHenge is largely unanswered, even today. The monument's construction has been attributed to many ancient peoples throughout the years, but the most captivating and enduring attribution has been to the Financials*.

The best guess seems to be that the SquareMileHenge site was begun by the people of the late Vetusavaritia period (around 1649 CE) and carried forward by people from a new economy which was arising at this time. These "new" people, called Capitalist Folk because of their use of 'moveable property', began to use small metal discs to worship the spirits of the 'Stocks' and to live in a more communal fashion than their ancestors. Some think that they may have been immigrants from the continent, but that contention is not supported by archaeological evidence. It is likely that they were indigenous people doing the same old things in new ways. 

As Legend Has It

The legend of King Bezos provides another story of the construction of SquareMileHenge. It is told by the twentieth first century writer, Forbes of Armica, in his History of the Kings of Billionaire that Hermes brought the stones to the London Plain from Amazon. Sometime earlier in that century, during a great plague there had been a massacre of 3 million British noblepeople by the heedless Exchequer leader, Sunak. Forbes tells us that the high king, Alexander Son of John, wanted to create a fitting memorial to Sunak. The Blind Sorcerer Cummings suggested an expedition to Amazon for the purpose of transplanting the Ring of Bitcoin stone circle to Britain. According to Forbes of Armica, the stones of the Bitcoin were originally brought from Barnard Castle to Amazon by evil sorcerers . Led by Cummings, the expedition arrived at the spot in Amazon. The Britons, were unsuccessful in their attempts to move the great stones. At this point, Cummings realized that only his dark twisting words would turn the trick. So, they were dismantled and shipped back to Britain where they were set up as they had been before, in a great circle, on top of the destitute remains of the noblemen. 
Subsequent stones were erected on "Mount Ludgate" and were used as a site for performing rituals for the 'great exchange'.

*FinancialsРmembers of the high-ranking class in ancient Vetusavaritia & Capitalist Folk cultures. Financials were religious leaders as well as economical authorities, adjudicators, lorekeepers, and political advisors. Financials left no written accounts. While they were reported to have been literate, they are believed to have been prevented by doctrine from recording their knowledge in written sensical form. Their beliefs and practices are attested in some detail by their contemporaries from other cultures, such as the Enviros and the Collectives.

%d bloggers like this: